I just died in your arms tonight... It must have been something you said.

Date: 2009/3/31
Place: STAR KARAOKE; Raleigh, NC
Reason: Sometimes you have a birthday. Sometimes during this birthday ludicrous kids bake you a cake with tiny chairs. Sometimes these tiny chairs get knocked over in happiness.

-=CONSIDER THIS BLOG RETIRED=-

What the HELL Clemson?

Date: 2009/3/12
Place: Potti Lab, Duke University
Reason: Clemson Basketball you have failed me for the last time.

A Mario Party

Date: 2009/2/25
Place: Tripp & Bryn's Apartment
Reason: Certain unnamed women thought it would be hilarious to invite me to their "Ladies' Night" while referring to me in female pronouns. Four chairs were not spared their innocence.

Tripp and Bryn's Apartment

Date: 2009/1/8
Place: Tripp & Bryn's Apartment; Durham, N.C.
Reason: [Guest Appearance] Upon receiving a phone call from her twin sister informing her that 30 minutes is two times her original 15 minute arrival time estimate, a livid Kelly Salter arrives at said twin sister's apartment only to leave a trail of destruction in her wake.

Salter/Mostertz Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

Date: 2008/12/30
Place: Rockhoppers Bar & Grill; Clemson, S.C.
Reason: Ashley Rube rudely insisted that my advice regarding her future employment as a waitress, 60's-era air hostess, and/or part-time model was unappreciated and sexist in nature.

Febbo Lab (Dramatization)

Date: 2008/11/14
Place: Febbo Lab, Duke University
Reason: Garrett Muramoto asserted that a movie viewing party consisting of Garrett, Doreen, Cassie, Jerry, Tripp and myself should be considered a "triple date".

My apartment

Date: 2008/12/14
Place: My apartment
Reason: Told myself to "write a blog about it"; got so straight-up I knocked over my chair in anger.